שאל את הרב - כללי
1096 Wedgewood Blvd, Edmonton
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שאלה
I have a very sensitive and embarassing question to ask. I am not brave enough to ask a local Rabbi. I am reading a book called "Garden of Richess" written by Rav Shalom Arush. The problem is that I am in debt (heavy) and even by working hard is still not succeding to pay it off. I got scared today when I read that if one " prevent pregnancy by spilling seed" is transgressing sever prohibition from Torah. Unfortunately, I did do that. It is written that I will be severely punished for it and the greater part of punishment happens in this world by drawning in debt and loosing money. This is exactly what happens to me. Only now I realize how bad what I did really is. I am wondering, what can I do to get Hashem's forgiveness in this world and in the world to come? Can I fix it? I don't want my family to suffer because of my mistakes. Thank you, Oleg
תשובה
To the Questioner,
The rule that we have passed down is "there is nothing that stands in the way of tshuva".
The parts of tshuva are three: 1) to regret; 2) to accept upon oneself never to do such a thing again; 3) to say viduy before Hashem [the words: "I have sinned unintentionally, I have sinned intentionally, and I have sinned rebeliously before You, and i did...(fill in with a specific description)...I regret what I did and i accept upon myself never to do such a thing again."] (All of this is said in private and quietly before Hashem- however, the words do need to be audible.(
Once a person completes the three parts of tshuva and has truly experienced the regret and feels a truly deep desire never to do such a thing again, his tshuva is complete, and he is allowed to imagine himself as being close to Hashem (Rambam, Hilchos Tshuva, Perek 7-7(
It seems from your letter that you have much regret for what took place. It aslo seems that you never wish to do such a thing again. What you need to do now is just the spoken "viduy" and then you do not have to worry about continued punishment forever.
The Gemara (Brachos 12b) says: Anyone who does an aspect of an avera and is embarassed with it, is atonned for [in heaven] for all of his unintentional misdeeds"
You express in your letter that you are embarrassed from what took place. This itself is a reason all the more so for you to attain complete mechila.
You should of course try your best in the form of hishtadlus to resolve your present debts; you should also try to limit more and more the amount that you borrow ( it should be going down rather than up)/ But do not think that you are doomed to this type of situation forever.
If you have difficulty organizing a spending and payment plan for how to get out of the present debts,it would prbably be worthwhile for you to make an appointment with the organization "mesila" (link: https://www.mesila.org/usa/) who have experience with these type of situations and can sometimes even offer actual help for relief
With Brucha for much Siyata D'shmaya andfor a Kosher and Happy Yom Tov,
Rabbi Nachum
להרחבה ושאלות נוספות, ניתן לפנות אל רבני שו"ת הידברות במייל rav2@htv.co.il